Saturday, December 1, 2012

Spammy spam spam spam

Rachel of My Messings recently awarded to me the One Lovely Blog award, thank you so much Rachel!
Now I know we are supposed to write seven things about ourselves, but honestly.  Aren't people's entire blogs pretty much stuff about themselves anyway?   So I thought it would be more fun to let some of my favourite spam comments have a moment in the sun.   

Spam.  Sometimes I feel sorry for spammers.  They have a tough life, daily facing an uphill battle.  Their hard work is often unappreciated.  Hours: tapping away on keyboards, hacking their little hearts out, frequently in a language that, let's face it, it's pretty obvious doesn't come easily to them... all that effort, for what? 

*delete*
How often do we take a moment to really consider the Soul of Spam?  
Some are pure gems of angst-ridden, strangled prose; others are little bon mots, distilled works of word art... like reading an ee cummings poem.
Some could even be thought of as an e-haiku; a small thought to ponder and reflect in a quiet moment.   
Consider this; could these be the cutting-edge, the new face of modern literature?

(oh, and btw, please do not think I'm poking fun at genuine commenters whose first language is not English, I have 
absolutely the highest respect for bloggers and commenters who communicate in a second language.  These following comments are not from genuine commenters.  I have removed the website names, but they all without exception came from sales websites just trying to score a return hit...)


Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It if truth be told was a entertainment account it. Look complex to far delivered agreeable from you! By the way, how could we be in contact?

Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a twenty five foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

obviously like your website however you need to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I to find it very troublesome to inform the truth then again I will definitely come again again.

What a data of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable knowledge regarding unexpected emotions. 

Magnificent website. A lot of useful info here. I am sending it to a few friends ans additionally sharing in delicious. And obviously, thanks in your sweat!

It's enormous that you are getting thoughts from this paragraph as well as from our dialogue made at this place. 

You really make it seem so easy together with your presentation but I in finding this matter to be actually one thing that I feel I'd by no means understand. It sort of feels too complex and extremely large for me. I am looking ahead on your subsequent put up, I will try to get the cling of it!

Excellent beat ! I wish to apprentice at the same time as you amend your website, how can i subscribe for a blog website? The account aided me a acceptable deal. I have been a little bit familiar of this your broadcast provided brilliant transparent idea 

well kevin if your still hanging around i think this is the contact filling address , there very helpfull ,tell them miss m wintek gift him out   

Asking questions are in fact nice thing if you are not understanding anything fully, however this post presents fastidious understanding yet.

magnificent points altogether, you simply gained a brand new reader. What may you recommend about your submit that you just made some days in the past? Any sure?

Good advertisement by added visitors,its accordance adventitious to allocation acclimatized knowledge.i am so afflicted by this blog accumulated information.

Lots of beneficial in a row. I give rise to bookmarked your place.

Short and sweet,  I think this last one is my favourite  :)

I am passing the One Lovely Blog award on to:



And, in closing...
Very occasionally, one is treated to a novella in one's spam box.  The product links are cunningly concealed within the unfolding drama, sneaking up on the reader without warning.  Such masterpieces are rare treasures indeed.  If you have the time, these are well worth the reading  :)

"I'm from near? Again nearly did not the Fu Huang climb up my bed near distance, right? How, not out in July? Fu Huang intend to move back? Are not you afraid? Still find new embolden you candidates? "palace banquet scene came out, hastily sent a ghd the north face sale flapping back Chuxiu did not find gas this will all spread out, but for seven drive past looking for him, he simply put harem lifting and remember him timid, who think he'll be back Zhengyang Palace of Beaulieu temple! Qin Ge stared at her for a while, say, by angle, punching the words you, [url=http://www.thenorthfaceoutletk.com/]north face backpack[/url] give you a reward.A seven digit check.Qin Ge said, with face, north than you seem fit for me.She and Qin Ge together for three years, before her, Qin Ge had a lot of women, she is it right? That he dropped the identity with her for three years, after all, she is only a common cannot again ordinary girl. Compared to the excitement of the people, Wang Mang look calm, 
"That will not do! [url=http://www.ghdhairstraightenerad.com/]ghd mini[/url] Xiangyebuxiang rejected," you'll be my wife, how can you continue to do security work? Too hard! Others will say that I abuse you! "    "Let me do the security is abuse? Then others? Others to do the security is not? Unfair it?" Ghd Pieliaopiezui, he says quite views. how cruel war that the [url=http://www.ghdhairstraightenerad.com/]ghd straightener[/url] can not imagine harem no smoke, heard prime chaise year but set thousands of pet in a ah, jealousy, hatred ghd With.Who can guarantee the ghd's dead, is not a conspiracy?"You blame ghd? Ghd then do not help you Dangxia the arrow, Xuanming Palace gang woman will not ghd killed." Rupu black hair messy sprinkled on behind his eyes firmly watching people in front of children, eyes flashed a touch of remorse light. See she did not speak, [url=http://www.ghdhairstraightenerad.com/]ghd pink[/url] somewhat tense, with great care to request: "vice president, 
"? [url=http://www.cheapfashionshoesaf.com/]cheap nike air max 90[/url] holding the steering wheel hand unconsciously tightened, he does not know why they would ask such a obviously a lot more than the question," No wonder he is so polite face when even said with a smile! "    This time, nike finally listening to the wrong place, the reigning curiously turned around and looked at nike: "Mu always say what? Do I usually express myself distasteful? [url=http://www.cheapfashionshoesaf.com/]cheap air max[/url] took a deep breath, walk two steps on the Nike said: "cloud miss, can I make a request?"Nike wry smile said: "you know the spike is listening to my orders to do, so although she hurt you, but I should be the real culprit!So, you can not put the river spike involved?All the consequences, I own is!Can you promise me?" Mu light he Wenyan, not by looking up a river river spike, spike did not shy away from his eyes, mouth has smiled: "he always says what!What does the candle candle!

30 comments:

  1. Just as you do amazing thing when recycling fashions, you have recycled those spam comments into an hysterical post. I recognized the "fastidious understanding" one since I got that one too. (And I get almost no spam.) Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love the one that picks on your spelling, while using the most warped, incomprehensible grammar. This is hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  3. "[H]e always says what! What does the candle candle!" is positively Joycean! Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know I probably shouldn't be enjoying this spam as much as I am. Who knew that something so annoying could also be so hysterically funny.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks in your sweat. Wang Mang look calm. Laughing hysterically.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I love the 'thanks in your sweat' line best of all. I'm in quite partial to 'nike wry smile', too. I can't stop laughing ...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh my, hilarious! I am not nearly as proliferous, nor as widely read, a blogger as you to rate such comments as these. I shall try to work harder at it. I have been enjoying your blog for awhile now and love both what you create and how you describe your experience with that creative process. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow, that story was truly epic...and with really cheap shoes, apparently :) I agree, those spam posts are such an abstraction of the English language; I think it's a new kind of poetry, where the message is quite beside the point and only the packaging matters. If that makes sense.

    Thanks for the award too! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I confess that I do my best not to read spam. As soon as I see Anonymous and check the first sentence, I send it into spam space. However, this does mean I miss some of these gems. I love 'sharing in delicious' and 'trying to get the cling of it'. You are completely amazing that you put this post together. And that last... I'm dying to know if they married. Did he abuse her? Did she continue to do security or did he take that over? And what does the candle candle? One of life's many mysteries.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I hghly suspect that these spam comments are written in the mother tongue & then run through the google translator so they can be posted on English speaking blogs. Have you ever done this yourself? It's hilarious! As are all your spam comments.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you for the award.
    Your spams are much more enterteining than mine! so far I had a couple about nose surgery in Turkey (???)
    I agree with Alison: google translator is a useless tool that is fun to use for a laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  12. He he, love this post! I agree for someone to write spam in an email which isn't in their first language has to be impressive, but it doesn't stop us laughing - oops! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. That is just too funny!
    Thanks for the recognition, my dear Carolyn...I adore your lovely blog as well!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh, by the way, I just love this line:
    "Rupu black hair messy sprinkled on behind his eyes firmly watching people in front of children, eyes flashed a touch of remorse light."
    It's no doubt the most romantic thing I've ever read!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh, by the way, I just love this line:
    "Rupu black hair messy sprinkled on behind his eyes firmly watching people in front of children, eyes flashed a touch of remorse light."
    It's no doubt the most romantic thing I've ever read!

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is hilarious! My favorite spam comments are the ones with suggestions to improve my blog, like the spelling one above.

    A while back on my blog, I asked for opinions from my African readers. Several graciously replied with substantive advice, but the wording was often so spam-like that I had to be careful to actually read the content of the comment so I did not delete it accidentally.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I always find your blog rife with spellings and inspirements and not so many contagions. Thank you for the entertainment!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I desperately want to know who is the river spike, and why is she listening?
    great post, agree with a commenter above, positively Joycean.
    thank you for the blog award!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hello Carolyn,

    If you email me your postal address, I could trace the pattern for my black lace knickers and send it to you. katherine dot peter at bigpond dot com

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks for today's laugh. I'm in the midst of hemming curtains (bleh!) and definitely needed one.

    ReplyDelete
  21. It's your 'take' on life and sewing that keeps me coming back to your blog for more.
    Thanks for the award too Carolyn:)

    ReplyDelete
  22. ooohhhh Thank you Carolyn!!!!
    I haven´t any spam in my blog...maybe my blog and I are young yet ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  23. It's like blog graffiti.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Brilliant. I laughed out loud when I read "and obviously, thanks in your sweat!"

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ha ha. Great post. I think I have gotten all of these. May I add a few to the list? Here are some recents:

    I usually do not leave a leave a response, but after browsing some
    of the remarks on "Rhythmic Line Designs And Patterns".
    I do have 2 questions for you if you don't mind. Could it be simply me or do a few of these responses appear like they are coming from brain dead people? :-P And, if you are posting on other places, I would like to keep up with anything new you have to post. Could you post a list of every one of your social community pages like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?

    Hi there! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site
    with us so I came to take a look. I'm definitely loving the information. I'm bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers!

    Have you ever conѕiԁеred about addіng a lіttle bit
    more than just your articles? I meаn, what you sау is valuable and аll.
    Howevеr thinκ of if уou added some great
    phоtos oг viԁeο clіρs to give your ροsts more, "pop"!
    Yоur contеnt is excеllent but ωіth piсs and video clips, this site coulԁ certainlу bе one of thе greatest іn
    its fіeld. Terrifіc blοg!

    I was wondering if you ever considered changing the page layout of your website?

    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
    But maybe you could a little more in the way of
    content so people could connect with it better. Youve
    got an awful lot of text for only having one or two images.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

    Faѕcinating blog! Iѕ your theme cuѕtоm made
    oг diԁ you download it from somewhегe?

    A theme lіke yours with a few sіmple аdjustеments ωoulԁ really mаke
    my blog ϳump out. Please let me know whеre you got yοuг desіgn.
    Thanκ you
    my web site-colon cleanse centers in NJ

    Link exchange is nothing else but it is only placing
    the other person's web site link on your page at suitable place and other person will also do similar in favor of you.

    I'm not sure exactly why but this website is loading extremely slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a problem on my end? I'll check back later on and see if
    the problem still exists.

    ӏ've loaded your website in Three different browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Would you mind contacting me the company name of your web hosting company? My personal email is: _____. I will even sign up through your affiliate link if you would like. Kudos




    ReplyDelete
  26. Sorry to serial comment but I forgot the BEST one of all. Hi, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving me insane so any support is very much appreciated.

    ReplyDelete